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From Black Sabbath to Metallica, Rolling Stone picks the 100 Greatest Metal Albums of All Time.
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Great Satan’s rage

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KILL ‘EM ALL (1983)

Metallica is the starter pack of metal. Every 14 year old kid in the free world with darkcore inclinations and a penchant for marijuana gets introduced to Metallica, by their friends, their older siblings, their parents, and in some early-starting families, possibly even their grandparents. They’re sufficiently edgy without actually possessing any edge, and they’re about as subtle as a hammer in the face (even in their quieter moments), so they’re perfect for raging balls of horomones. All their friends will love them, too, so they’ll be a common link in that outcast group of proto-stoners gathering around the smoking pit outside your local high school. One of those kids will be disdainful and claim that “real metal” lies in the death and black underground. While that kid is right, they’re also kind of annoying.

When they got together, though, way way back in 1981, Kiss and Deep Purple were about as heavy as widely accepted mainstream rock got. Sure, you had your Black Sabbaths and your Judas Priests as

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BLACK SABBATH

The 1960s are a decade that has been largely romanticized by the generations that came after it. The Boomers that lived through it carry tales about free love and smoking marijuana like we’re supposed to sit and swoon over their vinyl copies of The Beatles. “Oh,” they say, “we had all this great music come out, and we marched in the streets and we even stopped a war. It was such a great time to be alive.” Everyone that comes after is supposed to chew on their envy in the corner, and there are a lot of the children of Boomers that do exactly this. You know them as the Wrong Generation crowd. They go onto YouTube videos and leave snide comments about how music was so much better in the Sixties and that they were born into the wrong generation, all their friends are dumb and listen to Justin Beiber and Rebecca Black.

All of this false nostalgia for a time that was never lived through is even worse given that it’s based on a series of lies.

First of all, no one listens to Rebecca Black. I’m fairly certain that th